Way Back When: The Cosmic Journey of the Reservation Rocket

Way back when, in the little town of Keller, Washington, nestled along the flowing Sanpoil River, there stood a tavern where stories were told, legends were born, and the annual April rodeo brought everyone together. The rodeo was the heart of the town, and this year, Flipp, otherwise know as Earl, had the Reservation Rocket all tuned up for a trip.

Flip was no ordinary tavern keeper. He and his crew of Walk-Abouts—Broken Feather, otherwise know as cousin Butchy, Sassy Lil, otherwise known as cousin Gracy, and Runs out of Wind, otherwise known as, cousin Phillip, who never wore shoes and Walks a lot, otherwise know as John Tom — all known for their consistent lack of reliability, always looking for a good time. But none were as wild as the one they poured some of Joker's 210 proof Special Cosmic Go Juice in the beloved 1916 Ford Model A, known as the Reservation Rocket.

The crowd gathered at the rodeo, expecting to see bronco busting and barrel racing. But low and behold, they watched in awe as the Reservation Rocket rumbled, sputtered, and with a crackling flash of a shorted out headlight, lifted off the ground, soaring into the great beyond. As the rodeo grounds disappeared behind, they could hear the rodeo announcer stutter and exclaim, "Safe trip boys, Ya'all come back now ya hear?"

A Stop at the Moon

As the Reservation Starship zipped past the clouds, the crew whooped and hollered, tipping their hats to the Earth below. The Moon soon came into view, "I thought the moon was where The Great Spirit, had his tipi? You see any tipis?

“Yep, behind that mountain of cheese that looks like a nose” Sassy Lil , otherwise known as Gracy. pointing to the horizon.

Flip. otherwise know as Earl, nodded, and they gently landed in what felt like mud but was a combination of cottage cheese and pie dough. To their amazement, they weren’t alone. There were moon-cows—large, slow-floating creatures that mooed in long, drawn-out tones, some right side up and some upside down. Broken Feather tried to lasso one, but in the Moon’s light gravity, he was the one who floated away instead! The crew laughed as they wrangled him back into the Reservation Rocket, cracking open a few cold pops in celebration. "Cow Pies, made of cheese? Who knew?", Ha, Ha, Ha, everyone got a chuckle out of that.

They slogged through the cheesy cow pies to the Tee Pee and read the flashing neon sign above the entrance that said, "Closed for eternity, the Pow Wow has been permanently moved to Heaven and sometimes Mars."  "Well that answers that," said Sassy, "Granny was right, be good or you can't go to the Pow Wow."

A Martian Pow Wow

Leaving the Moon behind, they pressed onward, the engine poppin' and sparks flying out of the tail pipe, heading straight for Mars. The red planet glowed in the distance.  As they landed, they were surrounded by herds of tiny green buffalo that stretched off to the horizon.  "So that's where all the buffalo got to," said Comes With the Wind.

Mars is covered with lots of canals for the canoes the Martians use to get around. At a crossroads they saw Little Green Men wearing bonnets of pink turkey feathers pounding drums and blowing whistles, making a racket that would scare the dickens out of any booger men around.  "Sounds like a Pow Wow to me, hollered Runs out of Wind, "Let us see if they have any Stick Games going on."

“Welcome, Cuz!” said a Martian wearing a bustle made of recycled Copenhagen chewing tobacco cans hanging from his bottom. “Y’all made it just in time for the Whoop Up Circle Dance!”

The crew wasted no time in joining the festivities. They stomped, spun, and clapped in a Martian-style dance, kicking up red dust and jumping 100 feet into the thin air as the Martians pounded on what look liked hub caps from a 1962 Lincoln Contenental. Flip, otherwise known as Earl, came back from the Stick Games having lost his shoes in his last bet, "Those guys cheat, I lost my moccasins to a 3 toed Martian, my feet are getting cold. We might as well head back before the Sanpoil Rodeo is over." So they all shook hands with the little green cousins and piled back into the Reservation Rocket, cranked up the engine waving Good-bye and yelling "High d Hi and Howdy Ho, to all their new cousins.

Back to the Sanpoil

Flip tipped his hat and said, “That was fun, I sure liked dancin' with that cute little three toed Martian gal. She invited me for a drink but I said I couldn't because I was the designated driver.  The interplanetary joy ride took half the time because they didn’t stop at the moon to get any moon pies.

As they landed with a thud and a couple wheels falling off in the middle of the rodeo arena, where a cowboy was being bucked off by a Brahma bull, the crowd gasped. Flip and his crew fell out of the Reservation Rocket covered in space dust with pop cans scattering out of the back seat just in time to catch the cowboy flying through the air.

"Hooray shouted the crowd!"

“Good catch! How was the trip?” the announcer asked.

Flip grinned. “We found our cuzzins where the buffalo all ended up. It was out of this world!”

Runs out of Wind, tipped his hat. “Next Pow Wow's in Heaven.” To which everybody at the rodeo scratched their heads but clapped anyway.

From that day forward, folks in Keller spoke of the time when Flip, otherwise known as Earl and his Merry Walk-abouts, rode the Reservation Rocket to Mars and back. To this day everyone smiles at the little green buffalo that live upside down under the tables at the Keller Tavern.  Oh, yeah.  And a picture of a cow jumping over the moon hanging behind the bar.

"Looks like somebody forgot to empty their pockets when we we came back from the Pow-Wow on Mars." Said Flip, otherwise know as Earl.

The End (for now)

 

 

 

 

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